As If I Were Back There
by OwenHarpersGirl
Summary: After fighting the newborns, Alice notices Jasper has been acting strangely and asks Carlisle to help. Takes place during Eclipse shortly after the Cullens fight the newborn army and Victoria.


As If I Were Back There

**Takes place during **_**Eclipse**_

Carlisle sat at his desk filling out paper. It was a boring task, but given recent events it was a welcome change. After fighting the newborn army and defeating Victoria, a little boring paperwork was nice. He was just starting on the next sheet where there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," he said, already knowing who it was. Alice opened the door and walked inside, lacking her usual bounce.

"What can I do for you Alice?" Carlisle asked pleasantly.

"I need your help," she said seriously, "Or rather, Jasper does. I'm really worried about him daddy."

"Why? What's wrong with him?" Carlisle asked concerned.

"I'm not totally sure," Alice admitted, "He won't talk to me, but he's been acting different ever since we fought the newborns. I think it might have brought back a lot of bad memories for him. Plus, he says he's fine, but I know one of the newborns bit him and he keeps rubbing his arm so I think he may actually be hurt."

"Alright, I'll talk to him," Carlisle said.

"Thank you daddy!" Alice exclaimed, running behind his desk to hug him.

"You're welcome," he laughed, "Would you mind if you and the others went hunting for a bit so I can talk to him in private?"

"Sure," she said happily, "See you later!" Carlisle waited until he heard his wife and three of his children leave. Since Edward was at Bella's house, Carlisle knew he and Jasper were alone. He walked down the hall and knocked on the door of Jasper and Alice's room. There was no sound form inside the room so Carlisle just walked in. Jasper was sitting in a chair at his desk. He didn't even seem to notice that he was no longer alone.

"Jasper?" Carlisle said quietly. Jasper whipped his head around in shock, as if he hadn't even heard Carlisle enter the room.

"Carlisle," he said, standing u, "What can I do for you?"

"Have a seat son," Carlisle said and Jasper did so immediately, "How are you?" Carlisle sat on the edge of the bed opposite his newest son, knowing that Jasper wasn't overly comfortable with physical contact from anyone other than Alice.

"I'm fine," Jasper replied immediately.

"Jasper," Carlisle said exasperated, "Come on son, I can see something is bother you; everyone can. Alice said your arm was hurt."

"I'm fine Carlisle, really," Jasper insisted, though his voice was weak.

"Can I see?" Carlisle asked, stretched his hand out, "Just for my satisfaction?" Jasper looked reluctant, but he held his arm out slowly and Carlisle took it gently. He rolled up Jasper's sleeve and looked at the bite on his son's arm. Jasper drew in a sharp breath as Carlisle gently probed the wound.

:Sorry," Carlisle said, glancing up at him before going back to examining the bite.

"So aside from this, how are you?" Carlisle asked, "And I want you to be honest with me."

"I–" Jasper faltered, "I'm not so good." Carlisle looked up, shocked but thankful for the honesty.

"It's just… fighting those newborns was something I never wanted to do again. I never wanted any of you to see me like that. I never wanted to go back to that life, and now it's like I have," Jasper said quietly.

"You haven't –" Carlisle started, but Jasper cut him off.

"I have!" he said loudly, wrenching his arm from Carlisle's grasp and moving to the other side of the room,, "I can see it all Carlisle. I had spent so much time repressing these memories and now they're all back. I can hear the screams and feel the fear as if I were back there." Jasper dropped to his knees, his face looking anguished. Carlisle was next to him in half a second, hands on his shoulders.

"Jasper, Jasper look at me," Carlisle said and Jasper turned to look at him, "I know you're hurting right now, and there's nothing I can do, but I am here for you. We all are." Jasper choked out dry sobs and fell forward into Carlisle's arms.

"D-Dad," he choked, "Dad, I don't know what to do." Carlisle wrapped his arms tightly around his son, knowing if he was calling him dad then he really was hurting.

"Shhh. It's gonna be okay son," Carlisle said, "It's gonna be okay."

"I – I think I need to explain to everyone else," he said after a while.

"Okay," Carlisle nodded, "I'll call them all back here."

**Hope you guys liked it! This is gonna be a two-shot, but I don't know when I'll get the second part up, hopefully soon!**


End file.
